I want to write poetry about you. Countless line one after the other poetry about your skin. Poetry about your laugh or that gleam in your eye when you've thought up something clever but will not share with the world.
I want to write poetry about how my heart belongs to you. About how no matter what I do you are the first and last thing I think of. I want to write poetry about how alive I feel just by sitting next to you and how afraid I am to have my heart broken again
I want to write poetry about our future. Poetry about how we will hold hands as we watch our children play. Poetry about how I'll look out the window from the home that we share and smile because this is really our life.
I want to write poetry about our love making. About our bodies pressed into each other. The increase of heart beats. The anticipation of climax. About how your wetness floods my hand with every movement
I want to write poetry about our oneness. About how the connection shared between us is so fragile yet so strong. I want to write poetry about your lips how they curve so gently into a smile. I want to write poetry about the sway of your hips about the the stories they tell as you dance to your favorite songs. I want to write about how you unravel me. About how when we're together the rest of the world disappears. I want to write poetry about the way you are able to give me the entire world and then take it all away.
I want to write poetry about how you've broken my heart and how I allow you to do it over and over again. I want to write poetry about dreams, my dreams, your dreams, our dreams....
But all of that seems so far away from the truth. So far away from the reality of our lives. Two thousand miles away I sit alone wondering why I cannot write this poetry. Why I cannot bring myself to create similes and metaphors of our love. You've drifted to far into the void. You have pushed me away to a place where poetry doesn't exist where the only thing left is to pick up the pieces of my heart and haphazardly glue them into place.
Everything is a blur these days. A blur of wondering if I will ever find myself again. Find myself not caught in the gravity of your light. I can't help myself. I can't help that my heart is tethered to you even though you've done everything you can to untie me. I am caught in this moment of helplessness and you are there two thousand miles away pushing through to forget who I am, to forget our life together.
All of this seems silly as I type... Silly because I know better. You will not find someone better than me. I am not saying this to feel good about myself it is the plain truth. No one will love you and treat you the way I have. I will be the one who got away. As I slowly rebuild my life brick by brick I will learn that I need someone in my life who isn't afraid to love, who isn't afraid of the love I have to give. At the end of the day I know my heart is true. I know that no matter what happens my heart is pure and was pure in the way I loved you.
